Today has been a good day. I found out for sure that the ghost of herpes past is in fact nothing but a figment of my imagination, and I am plagued only by the ghost of rugburn present. It was, however, quite the dramatic ordeal.

I got home and went to sleep until 8:00 am, when the Planned Parenthood clinic opened. I called, and made an appointment. I told the clinician my story, and asked if genital herpes could just hang out and incubate for 2 years. She said it could... I made an appointment for 2:45 pm and tried to go back to sleep. I dreamt horrible dreams, and then woke up at quarter to two. I cleaned up, and started to call my boyfriend, then hung up the phone. I figured no sense in getting him all riled up as well. I put my phone down and there was a knock at the door. It was him. As soon as I opened the door to let him in, I started crying uncontrollably. He was understandably disturbed by my behavior. I explained what was going on, and he was perfect, completely calm, and told me he loved me.

We went to the clinic together, and I explained my symptoms, and the weekend activity to the doctor. She looked around at my parts, and I showed her my little rashy bits. She felt around my bits, and then gently squeezed where my legs meet my pelvis in the front - I guess there are lymph nodes there - and declared me a victim of nothing worse than rugburn. I was incredibly happy. She told me to lay off the corn starch and wear loose clothes, and invest in some lubricant. Considering the possible outcome, today was a hella good day, and I learned about what herpes would actually look like.

Five Things I Am Thankful For Today:
healthy reproductive organs
taco bell 7 layer burritos
having diarrhea instead of vomiting as a side effect of the flu
my cake assed job
the level of composure and understanding exhibited by my boyfriend while I insisted that I probably gave him herpes