I realised something about myself today. I always thought I wanted the best job and the biggest house and that is what would make me happy but I think I was wrong. All I want is happiness and maybe that could make me happy but I’m not quite sure anymore.

I always try and please people and I admit I hate to fall out with people. Over the last week I found that I try to hard with some people. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings but it seems they don’t mind hurting mine and that isn’t fair, is it?

Being happy is really important to me and sometimes I think that people are trying to stop me from being happy. I don’t want the complicated friendships anymore. Sod them.

All I want now is to find someone who truly cares for me, and can make me happy, is that too much to ask? I see couples and I see their happiness and wonder if that will be me someday. My brother and his girlfriend seem so happy and I just hope that one day I will be as happy as they are. Maybe they are too young but can you choose when you fall in love?

Every guy I have ever liked or cared about has never seen me as more than a friend. Maybe that is a good thing. I mean can a relationship be based on friendship? If all I can have is friendship that is fine by me.

I’m happy