Today
sucked. Honestly I don't know why it just did.
I woke up early and went to band. That was stupid. I spent the last two months enslaved in this organization. I hate it. They're are some cool people but it's not worth the effort and time and negative effect on my grades and morale. In the recent days i've been angry cause I believed the band director had thrown out my jacket and my friend's shoes. My friend confronted the guy and got his shoes back but I haven't gotten my jacket yet. I guess I was disappointed because it was going to give my friend and I an excuse to quit. Now he's not quitting so when I do quit eventually I'll just feel lonely. Oh well.
I actually did all my homework today so the academics went fairly well. I still hated every second of every class. English was boring. Stat..boring. History...very boring. Spanish...pop quiz, nagged by teacher because I don't try at all in the class.
I got out of gym to go to a meeting about the PA Governor's Schools. I thought this was going to be a good thing to do this summer since i had been told by my math and computers teachers that I should definitely apply since I could probably get in. It sounded cool but I'm too young. I realized that I'm too young for a lot of things. I can handle most of them but because my parents didn't screw each other a few years earlier I can't participate.
Chemistry was easy but once again boring. I didn't get any work done. I don't know why. I just couldn't put my pen to the paper. It was depressing to watch friend's whom I've tutored on this stuff finish long before I did. I also had a headache. I didn't bother with the nurse because it was too much trouble to fill out the necessary paper work to get out of class.
Today was senior cut day so my sociology class was pretty much empty and we didn't bother to do anything. I just sat and talked to Mojo Jojo about how crappy today was.
I came home and I asked my mom to take me to buy these three CD's which I hoped would cheer me up a little. She said no. I would have gotten them myself but I'm too young to drive.
Went on e2 for a bit and checked my mail. Nothing interesting happened there. Went to sleep. Almost called my friend to ask if he wanted to get stoned. Decided that was a bad idea because I had a lot of work to do and I needed to be coherent to do it well. Had Stouffer's Microwave Macaroni and Cheese for dinner. Now I feel sick. My mom is in Lancaster so she couldn't cook for me. She's visiting my brother who I wanted to see but couldn't because I have too much shit to do.
I also got angry about how many shit political ads are on. There isn't a single normal ad. Just crap about local and national elections. I don't really like any of the candidates and I almost wish someone would gag them. I hate politics. I just can't ignore them though because they have such an impact on my life. Sometimes I wish I were really stupid so I didn't notice what politics had to do with me.
I think my life has reached an all time low. It's weird too because I always expected something really bad to happen before I was this frustrated with life. Instead nothing at all has happened I just have lost any real reason too enjoy and look forward to life. The bad thing is that if I were dead I'd hurt to many people I care about.
Wow. A good thing has happened. I just got a compliment from a friend about something I wrote. Usually this wouldn't be important but for some reason it makes me feel better. I think I'm going to go do something useful while I'm still motivated.