A duelling competition that combines word association with comedy violence. Played by two children under the adjudication of Timmy Mallett on Wacaday.

The rules are as follows :

Mallett's Mallet is a word association game, where you musn't pause, hesitate, repeat a word, or say a word I don't like... otherwise you get a bash on the head like this... (hits first contestant on head with pink and yellow oversized foam mallet) or like this... (ditto second contestant) The one with the most bruises loses. Look at each other and go Bleugh! Look at everyone at home and go Bleugh! Everyone at home look at them and go Bleugh! (sometimes other words were substituted for Bleugh.)

Upon losing the game, the player would put on a sticky plaster, usually on the chin or forehead, and do a wacawave to the camera. When the time ran out the most unscathed player won a prize. Quite often the kids would veer the topic of the word chain towards minor expletives.

Addendum : the noise that would play when someone was malletted went : "pcc-aUmChing!" according to spiregrain, and "mip-mip-BONK-ching!" according to Clone.