renew your hatred every morning, rising with the sun to melt my defenses. scheme, scour, screw me over until i can stand you no more, until i am willing to see you dead, eyes bulging, face bloated... and i can laugh in relief.

ignore me. see me, hear me never & keep all thoughts, once excitedly spoken to me, silent & dead. fade away quickly, into a dusk i have no desire to experience. a feeling which is never felt wilts so easily, is never missed.

finalize your actions which hang like a perfect rain in a quiet forest, suddenly disturbing the sound of trees and perverting their futures with the subdued tones of empty promises of some miraculous, healing power.

`*. .*. .*`..*..'

pleasepleaseplease, be something,, be anything other than this. right now i can't deal in abstract terms and your eyes and your words and your entire being are so far removed from that which is real... it makes me shiver -- in pain, through tears, with the little strength i possess -- to form & fashion you towards acceptance in my world.

draw yourself in black&white ... these beautiful colors which paint your soul are so distracting.

(and i'll pretend that, in hidden affections, i simply don't adore this --
but just because it's you...)