what does it mean when you all of the sudden find tears dripping off your cheek, or you look down and find that there's a wet spot on the pillow where the tears you've been shedding without knowing it have collected. we were looking into eachother's eyes and they came, BOY did they come. usually at least one of stayed strong for the benefit of the other, so that neither one of us breaks down too badly, but this time it was a simultanious breakdown.

we had the best weekend. she drove an hour up from Boulder, and finally arrived about 6 on friday night. We were hoping to go climbing at the local rock gym, but an unfortunate incident (she was sparring in American Freestyle Tae Kwon Do and kicked someone a little too hard and screwed up her foot a good deal) forced us to stay in and watch Happy Gilmore, actually a very funny movie when you havn't seen it for a while. So we got a sixpack of Cerveza Sol, a few bottles of pepsi and a pizza from Papa John's with extra garlic sauce and had ourselves a night. It was very high qulaity. we were up till 4 in the morning. It was great.

but of course, even though neither of us wanted to admit that it would come, that she would have to leave at some point. she just left a few minutes ago and holy shit, i always forget how much it hurts when either one of us have to leave. i always forget that feeling of a piece of your heart being torn away from you. my favorite quote of all time is in a song called If Only by Goldfinger which pretty much sums it all up;

But for now I'll have to
wait another week
to see your face and all I want to say is
that I really miss you