I have had it. I am sick and tired of having to pick up the god damn slack because I am the only person in the world qualified to responsibly operate an automobile.

I can't take it anymore. People need to be taken out back and beaten until their understand that a car is not a plastic Playskool wagon. It is a two-ton moving weapon. Cars are made of steel. Human beings are not.

I am at my wits end. Driving requires concentration and attention, as well as some semblance of skill. People should not be checking out the girls in the car next to them, talking on cellular phones, dialing numbers on cellular phones, applying makeup, fixing their hair, reading books, looking in the glove box for napkins, changing clothes, thumbing through compact disc flip files, smacking kids in the back seat, eating burritos, groping significant others, assembling erector sets or any the other countless bullshit I've seen people do while driving. Put both your stupid paws on the steering wheel and watch where you're going.

I'm tired of having to drive onto the shoulder to miss people swerving into my lane because they are incompetent. I am tired of having to drive off the road into someone's front yard to avoid someone else hitting me from behind and putting me in the hospital for a week and driving up my insurance rates. I am tired of having to stand on my brakes. I'm tired of having to swerve. I want to stay in my lane and not have to play a game of 4000 pound dodge ball. Can it really be that hard, people?