I discovered something this morning, this being that all the smart people use the drive-thru at the bank
. This is because only idiots
go inside to wait in line for a clerk
This goes directly against the now widely-accepted evilkalla's law of fast-food drive-thrus, which basically states that only idiots use the fast-food drive-thru. As this law proves that only the lazy and stupid will wait 20 minutes in line for a chicken sandwich, for a long time I held the belief that it would be true that the lazy and stupid would also wait 20 minutes in line to deposit a check.
But see, this is not so.
The lazy and the stupid go inside the bank and indignantly stand in front of the clerk with their empty, hollow stares trying to think of what to say for no less than ten minutes. Maybe it's because the lazy and stupid comprehend the chicken sandwich more easily than the bi-weekly payroll check. Perhaps their regular bank refused to deposit a check and they think a bank that is not theirs might do it instead.
I think that there might be a sub-corollary to this, that being that the quantity of available clerks is inversely proportional to the number of lazy and stupid customers in line.
I dunno, maybe it's because the #1 at Chick-Fil-A is $5.05 with tax, and the contents of the clerk's drawer is $5005.
God damn it.
I believe that more research into this is required. Please enlighten me if you have any first-hand empirical information.