You got me. I've been cursing you for nigh on 7 years now, ever since I became disgusted with the inane, evangelistic, do-what-feels-good Christianity I was a part of. I've denied you existed. I've decided that if you did exist, you were in opposition to me. I've mocked you, berated you, harassed your followers and just generally behaved like the snottiest little bastard imaginable.

I've studied other religions for 5 of those years, desperately searching for something to fill the void in my soul. I've glimpsed the cold clarity of Nirvana. I've examined the ancient covenant with JHVH. I've even dabbled in the veneration of Moist Mother Earth, the stars, and the command of geometric reality. I've continued to hunger.

You, however, have never left me the Hell alone. You've continued to prod my heart, even at its coldest. You've sent me longings, desires, and prophetic dreams. You've plagued my waking hours with deja vu, so that I might never forget who the architect of my future really is.

There's a point where a rational man has to take his fingers out of his ears, stop singing "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" and acknowledge the One speaking to him.

Here am I.