Got to work at the Stop-N-Go and asked about what I figured was just an accounting error on my paycheck. "Any idea why I'm down to $7.50 an hour, darlin?"

"Oh, yeah, " she said between tearing cardboard boxes in half. "nasty old boss lady dropped you back down because you didn't meet with her."

"So this has nothing to do with my performance on the job. Just that I didn't show up for a meeting she cancelled."

"Yeah, you'll have to take it up with her, though."

It was then I decided that tonight would be Free Candy Night If I Like Your Tits.