We are talking and giving each other
tagyou’reIT glances. As usual there is an enormous canyon between
what I am saying and what I am thinking. I am talking about how people can find themselves attracted to someone they cannot be with, but I am thinking hers is a winnable heart. There is always a
dichotomy to my communications.
She is discussing her own attraction to the Unreachable and I am going along. Giving her some elaborate fictional answer- mostly convoluted but sprinkled with just enough truthful detail to give it some weight.
"You are smitten with the unobtainable?"
Am I? Presently and previously. And by the sound of it, you have been the same
It is a ploy of course. A large piece of bait that only the little fish jump at. You don’t catch small fish by saying you want a snack. You are much better to say that you are looking for Moby Dick. Everyone wants to imagine they are the greatest of all catches. Most of us like the idea of being sought after even when we are already taken. Is there a flattery greater than being sought after when we are already seen as “taken” as off the market?
"You're speaking in ellipses. I know what that means."
She seems flustered now. Have I said too much? She spins to her feet and is considering a hasty exit. A grand gesture is required. I jump to my feet and grab her hand. A firm grip will either ignite the flame or extinguish it. The moment of truth. My heart is racing, but it is a visceral reaction more competitive than amorous. Now for the big guns:
I love you Anne, please don’t go
Her mouth on mine gives me a definite answer. If she feels my heart racing I am sure she imagines it is with passion, as opposed to the exhilaration of victory.
Moments later, pausing for breath. She gives me a contradictory afterthought.
"That’s the problem."
I squint my eyes and pull her close without a word in return.
Not out loud of course, I say -
No. That’s your problem.