Yet Another Eponymous's Sporadic Not An Editor Log

I've been here a couple of years, with only a couple interruptions. I don't daylog often, usually when I'm either very upset or in a wierd mood. Every now and then, I like to travel through the nodegel, drunkard's walk-style. It's interesting to see how the shape of the database changes over time.

The results:

The distribution of Factuals as compared to Webbies and Nodeshells is up quite a bit, it seems. I was surprised, as always, by the number of Magic: The Gathering cards. Two of them in a smaple this small is either very significant or totally insignificant, and I can't tell you which.

I've been trying to quit smoking. I've gone from 1.5 packs\p/d to about 4-7 cigs. More than that today, though. Quitting smoking sucks. Cutting back sucks. Waking up with your chest aching and your throat full of black phlem sucks worse. I've been a smoker for 18 years, and it's time to go from addict to recreational.

I feel a little disconnected from reality these days. The holidays tend to get to me a bit, along with the lack of daylight here in frozen hell.

I'm afraid of nearly everything.

I've been having a hard time with Duel.
I'm not sure how to let the characters drive the story.
I'm entering an area where events are going to push it along, and will I be able to develop the characters once they walk into the killing jar?

Click, zzzzizzz, draw


There is so much I want to say, but I am unable to, because some of it is confidential, some of it is not related to this site, and some of it is, to be frank, gibberish. There is so much going on in my life right now, and yet -- there's nothing going on in my life right now. I am on financial, spiritual, and emotional hold right now.