You are being killed by a false
dichotomy.
I will explain this idea. Don't quit. I agree with you at the end.
1) All
depression is
neurochemical, but none of it is
merely neurochemical. If someone's life seems
hopeless and unrewarding for long stretches of time, they will become depressed. If I starve someone and don't permit them to sleep for days on end, they will become depressed. If I give them a chemical that depletes their brain's
serotonin, they will become depressed. Obviously their symptoms and outlooks and self-concepts will be different, but all of them will feel and behave in certain similar ways, and
all of them will have low levels of serotonin and other neurotransmitters.
2) All recovery is neurochemical, but recovery that's
merely neurochemical is empty. Imagine three depressed people. One takes
Prozac™. One goes into
cognitive behavioral therapy and learns to recognize depressive
automatic thoughts and challenge them with statements that will allow her to feel more hopeful. One gets more sleep, regular exercise, and schedules more pleasurable activities. All of them will probably experience a period of
hopelessness and
futility, but if they persevere and do it appropriately, there's a good chance they'll all recover.
When they do, all of them will have increased neurological activity and higher levels of serotonin!
I'm not saying that drugs are always the answer, or never the answer. They have lots of
side effects; they don't lead to increased insight or coping skills; people who improve on them tend to backslide when they stop. But being able to lead a normal life can be a kind of psychotherapy, and there are some people who are so blackly hopeless that without a chemical boost, they'd never be able to focus on learning to help themselves!
The
pills are not a self-sustaining, intelligent enemy. They're things, stupid little things that can't really do anything right. You can use them well, or use them poorly. The difference is night and day, like the difference between someone who drinks a cup of
coffee when he's sleepy but need to drive, and someone who constantly pops
Penguin Mints™,
Vivarin™, and
cigarettes to avoid
passing out. They're one thing, that has one kind of effect, and wise helpers (including those who help themselves) will use them as a single instrument in the concert of techniques which they must employ to bring a depressed person back to their
humanity.
What's my point? Simply that no... drugging yourself into a stupor isn't the answer. And
any doctor who does that to you, or who gives
any depressed and self-destructive person drugs without therapy, makes me furious. They're abusers, in some cases murderers. They're certainly incompetent and they're soiling the honor and the compassion of my discipline.
But even if all pill-pushers were well-trained saints, the onus would still be on the person who needs help. Find a trustworthy therapist, work
with them, let yourself change. Don't be afraid of the drugs; they don't take away anything you can't take back. And don't be afraid to lose your depression; I guarantee there will be something left.
(Credibility note: I have a BA in
clinical psychology and have been in therapy myself for depression and other problems. I have talked to many
SSRI users, some of whom have improved and some of whom haven't.)