Episode 7G13; Original Airdate 4/15/90; Writers: George Meyer, Sam Simon, John Swartzwelder, Jon Vitti; Directors: Wesley Archer, Milton Gray
While Principal Skinner
gives his mother a tour of Springfield Elementary
and his posse ignite a cherry bomb
and flush it. Tragically, Mrs. Skinner is just getting down to business as the explosion occurs, and a powerful jet of water blows her off the toilet.
After catching Bart as the culprit, Skinner goes to Mr. and Mrs. Simpson to plead his case: to send Bart on a foreign exchange problem to get Bart of his hair. After some discussion, it's decided that Bart will go, and the Simpsons will host an Albanian boy, Adil Hoxha.
Although Bart departs with expectations of "the good life," he soon finds out that France is not paradise, especially for him. His exchange parents, Ugolin and Cesar, are French thugs who intend to use him as their slave.
Meanwhile, Adil expresses interest in Homer's job at the Nuclear Power Plant. While Homer gives him a tour he takes pictures of the machinary which he then sends back to Albania.
Back in France, Bart is being forced to sleep on the floor, perform endless work, and finally is asked to taste the wine that Ugolin and Cesar make, because it is laced with anti-freeze and they want to see if he dies. After doing so, and surviving, he's sent out to buy more anti-freeze. While there, he amazes himself by speaking fluent french and asking a policeman for help. Ugolin and Cesar are arrested and Bart recieves praise throughout France.
Foiling Adil and Albania's plans, the FBI traces the satellite signal that Adil is using to transfer the secret information, and and arrest him.
: Au revoir, suckers.
: Always remember that you're representing our country. I guess what I'm saying is, don't mess up France the way you messed up your room.
: You may find his accent peculiar. Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive. But I urge you all to give little Adil the benefit of the doubt. In this way, and only in this way, can we hope to better understand our backwards neighbors
throughout the world.
: Ah, the life of a frog
. That's the life for me.
: See there? American donuts
. Glazed, powdered, and raspberry-filled. Now, how's that for freedom of choice?
: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider... deporation
: Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the country?
: Hear him out, Marge.
: Wait a minute, Skinner. How do we know some principal over in France isn't pulling the same scam you are?
: Well, for one thing, you wouldn't be getting a French boy. You would be getting an Albanian.
: You mean all white with pink eyes?
: He makes me crazy twelve months of a year. At least you get the summer off.
: Mmm hmm.
: What do you know about France?
: I know I'm going and you're not.
: How can you defend a country where five percent of the people control ninety-five percent of the wealth?
: I'm defending a country where people can think and act and worship any way they want!
: Can not!
: Can too!
: Can not!
: Can too!
: Please, please kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity
and maybe Adil has a point about the machinery of capitalism
being oiled with the blood of the workers.
: Drink this.
: No thanks.
: Do not worry. This is France. It is customary for children to take a little wine now and then.
: Yeah, but it's got anti-freeze in there.
: Drink it!
(Subtitled from French)
: You gotta help me. These two guys work me night and day. They don't feed me. They make me sleep on the floor. They put anti-freeze in the wine, and they gave my red hat to the donkey
: Anti-freeze in the wine? That is a very serious crime.
: So, basically, I met one nice French person.
Information comes from The Simpsons - A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family and my childhood of alternating Simpsons rerun tapes with Star Trek rerun tapes for hours on end.