If you live in
Toronto and have ever been on the
Don Mills bus while this lady is
working, you'll know who she is. I wrote the following as a
rant for
eye weekly's now
defunct Transit Tales
column a while ago and I learned afterward that my
article was posted on the walls in
the Singing Bus Driver's division at the
TTC.
At 7 a.m. the sun is beginning to bloom for the day. The air is crisp outside, but stale inside the bus. Crowded with tired blue- and white collar workers who are smarter than to battle the DVP in rush hour , happily sipping coffee, tea, hot chocolate, methadone or whatever, as we bustle north into the void. There are no children to disturb us, no rowdy high school students, just the drone of diesel engines and the hiss or air brakes.
I am in the corner. My feet up on the little edge of metal on the side and my head resting against the glass staring at the lines on the road going by. The diesel din lulls me to sleep and I raise my heavy eyelids occasionally when we turn or stop sharply for passengers or morons who think its a good idea to cut buses off. I still hear nothing but the newspapers shuffling through fingers, slurping lips on Tim Hortons cups and the guy next to me snoring. I drift back into slumber.
"The Bus Driver Sings, Have A Nice Day...," I hear her voice over the intercom. I wake up grumpier than before at York Mills Road. What the fuck is going on and why is this broad singing to us at this hour? People chuckle and smile. They get off. Again, the drone lulls me back to a light slumber. I wake up again at Sheppard. "The Bus Driver Sings..." My eyes flash open and I glare at everyone around me. Those who see me give me a weird look and then stare at the floor. Am I the only morning grouch on this bus or am I the only one going all the way north to Steeles?
This continues all the way to the end of the line and I get off. I'm slapped in the face by the cold winds of wasteland Markham, but I'm glad I'm off that broad's bus. I seem to be more awake. Maybe I've been brainwashed somehow. Maybe I'll have a nice day.