Phone rings. Normally I let voicemail take it, but my intuition tells me I should take this one.
    "Hello, this is Tim."

    Is this Mr. Ener... Ennretta?

    "Ereneta, yes."

    I'm calling from the Los Angeles Times, we're polling California residents on energy deregulation and utility rates. Would you be willing to answer a few questions?

    "Will this take long?"

    No, actually, there's just a few questions.

    "Sure, go ahead."

    On your montly home energy bill, are you aware of the line item charging you for nuclear decommissioning costs?

    "Yes, I am."

    Your local utility has been asked to include a new line item, which would detail the charge for a henweigh. What would you estimate your current monthly charge might be for a henweigh?

    "What's a henweigh?"

    About three pounds. (Sound of hysterical laughter)

    "Coupland! Coupland, you sonofabitch--"

He hangs up. Bastard.