Rewritten by request, June 24, 2000, 09:20 E2ST

...get one of his balls out and squeeze it into the mouse. But he dismissed this idea pretty quickly and kept reading the in-flight magazine for other options. He couldn't find any, so he whispered "fuck you" and returned to his thrash music. But the computer replied, "Excuse me, please repeat the latest command." Puzzled, Johann agreed; but the node's loud and annoying voice that kept repeating "You've got mail", together with the background noise in the airplane made him have to shout. The moment everyone turned towards him, Johann thought this was a bad idea. But the node replied, "Thank you! Welcome to the mail menu. You've got mail! Thank you for using America Online"

"Dinka!" he exclaimed happily, as he saw the familiar face in front of him. But the recording said:

General Kenobi, years ago you have served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.

"What the..." Johann thought. But as he was thinking the third word, the plane took an unexpected turn, a state of dizziness embraced him, and the clouds seemed to become larger and larger... he suddenly realized that the plane and all its passengers were shrinking!

The plane landed before the entrance to node number one. Johann disembarked and hurried to find Dinka. She was talking to a 16 year old girl, so he sat and listened to their conversation...

"Ook! OOK!!! Tetrinet! Linux!" the girl said. Johann needn't listen any more; he already recognized RST. But as he was preparing to greet his friend, a powerful, skeletal creature appeared...

"Hi, I'm dem bones. Welcome to my lair!" the creature said.