The alphabet for adults.

All I need is to find twenty-six illustrators and a picture book is in the making.

A is for Apple, for Eve ate one naked
B is for Butchery and other entertaining sports
C is for Caroline, who was struck by an axe
D is for Dunces, for they never get a mention
E is for Eric, the small, yellow, plastic pencil sharpener
F is for Fuck
G is for Gallantry, as evil deeds done gallantly earn respect
H is for Happiness when tears subside
I is selfish
J is for Jelly and organs that wobble
K is for Kameroun, that is not spelled that way but should be
L is for Laughing at other people’s expense
M is for Making love with your socks on
N is for Neville, the naughty colour
O is for Surprise on a little girl’s face
P is done within the lines
Q is for Quirky, as if you had any doubt
S is for Steve, a sausage that means business 
T is for Topazium, the fifth element
U is for Unctuous, a word with too many vowels
V is for Valhalla, an afterlife to die for
W is for Wallace and his seven mystical accountants
X is for X-Ray because Xylophone just won’t do
Y is a question on a young lady’s mobile phone
Z is for Zulu according to an ancient mariner