The Tragedy of Dipendra, Prince of Nepal
On Friday, 1st June 2001, most of the royal family of Nepal was massacred. About a dozen royals, including the king and queen, were killed, presumably by the crown prince, Dipendra. Dipendra himself, having been injured in the bloodbath, soon also died, with his disliked uncle assuming the throne.
Shakespeare, if he were around today, would have had a field day with this. The makings of a masterpiece. There is still much debate, however, over what really took place that fateful Friday evening, despite investigations having been completed. Much of the event has been kept a mystery, so that the public, in the comfort of their homes, may imagine, discuss and re-enact on their own what they think really happened. I shall now, on my part, illustrate here what might have happened, on 1st June 2001:
Royal Nepalese palace.
Back in England, yeah, when I was in Eton, we did this book, see.
Some Shakespeare thing. The guy was so cool, man. Just like me.
So I try to emulate the guy back here see, I always wear black and all.
But it's no use, everything's so boring here, no one's got a story.
Dad hasn't died yet, Uncle's got no vicious plans, my mom's not a slut.
I even tried to get my girl, yeah, to kill herself, you know, out of
love for me, yeah? She wouldn't! There's just no damn story, man.
I need my chance to shine, yeah, I gotta do something. So I went out
and got this uzi yeah, I figure I'll have to just do everything myself.
I'll go kill off everyone.
Enter the KING, QUEEN, and OTHER PALACE OFFICIALS.
Dipendra! My son, what are you doing with that gun?
You could hurt someone with that.
Ahhh, don't worry, mom,
guns don't kill people.
Baaahhhhhaaaahhhhhaaaahhhhhboomboom, boom boomboom(or whatever
sound a machine-gun 'accidentally' makes.)