This is perhaps the weirdest start to any day I've ever had.

I got back to my room last night around 3 A.M. from hanging out with Laura and Ken. I had a terrible headache for some reason, and after defeating Ken's proposal to drink my troubles away, I went to bed. I was hoping not to wake up until noon. At least.

At approximately 11:15, however, my phone rings. Not one to just ignore the thing, I picked up, hoping it would be an old high school friend, or my parents calling to say hello, or anyone I cared to hear from, really.

Me: He-Hello?
Him: Hey! Wow, I haven't talked to you in a while. How's your semester going?
Me: Um, great. How's yours? (Do I know you?)
Him: Oh, pretty good.

Me: So, um...I'm sorry. Who is this, again?
Him: It's Mark! You don't recognize my voice?
Me: No...because I don't think I know you. Do you know who I am? (Say my name backwards, bitch! I dare you.)
Mark: Kim. Is this Kim?
Me: No, sorry. You must've gotten the wrong room. (Ha!)

I started to say goodbye when he starts making small talk. I didn't want to be rude and tell him that he woke me up, that I didn't want to talk to him, so I stayed on the line, answering his questions politely. It wasn't an unpleasant conversation. He just wanted to know how long I've been going here, what my major was, blah blah blah. He goes to LSU and is a business major, apparently. Then I hear water running behind him as he speaks. Come to think of it, his voice was echo-y, too.

Me: Is that water running? What are you doing?
Mark: Yeah, sorry. I'm drawing a bath.
Me: Uhm, okay...

So he keeps talking to me, now about what I do for fun. I'm becoming suspicious now, so I lie . . . Then I hear something that sounds like the surface of water being slapped with an open palm. Steadily at first, then increasing in tempo.

Me: Okay. What the fuck are you doing?

The sound stops.

Mark: Nothing.
Me: Right.


Dammit. I wasn't even supposed to be awake.