I have a sad but true wombat story. I killed one! (accidentally) Well, the wombat got me back, it destroyed my car. Ford Escorts don't like colliding with solid wombats at 100kph. I was setting up a bush doof at the time, and was driving back to town at night it was about 1am on 25th January 1996. I rounded a corner, then pow - bam "Holy Marsupials, WomBatman!"

The wombat had put a huge dent in the car, pushing the radiator back through the fan blades, destroying the fan and the radiator. I got out, and there it was, a HUGE wombat. The skin was so thick, that it wasn't even punctured. There was no wound or bleeding. Incredible. It was difficult for two strong people to drag the creature off the road it was so heavy. I felt so sad afterwards ... I even said a prayer to the wombat god, even though I'm not religious. There was something about the size of the thing - this wasn't ordinary road kill. I could almost feel it's spirit leaving. What would wombat heaven be like? I cannot imagine a wombat's heaven as being celestial, they are far too earthy creatures for that. I think they would find great contentment in the bowels of the earth. Endless tunneling, total darkness, snuggling. I just can't imagine wombats frolicking in bright white ethereal gases, they would hate it. So perhaps wombats are evil after all - their heaven is where Christian Hell is conventionally located. Can you picture a wombat with wings? Didn't think so.


P.S - did you know that wombats are great airconditioning engineers and architects. They have incredible ways of building ventilation systems into their burrows, which keep fresh air circulating underground. Amazing. They don't need heaven.