Yesterday was another bad day. I have this shitty cold, feeling even worse today, coughing and hacking. I felt like doing nothing, felt sad and felt my addiction pulling at me. I went to lunch with a girlfriend, that was nice, we commiserated together. I feel pretty bad for her, she feels stuck in a marriage with a man she loves and I know he loves her, but he has no passion for her any more. So she never gets what she wants. I know that feeling, and I couldn't stay in a relationship like that.
My problems will get better, I have no doubt at all. It's ghosts from the past that haunt me not the present, so I have a lot of hope. But right now, it's almost impossible to get through. I talked to my sister for an hour yesterday. That was really good. She told me the rat story - yeesh. She told me about her experience with a psychic. Man! I never knew there could be such a thing as a real psychic - this one sounds like she's a real one. She knew things about my sister that only my sister could have told her - and didn't.
Today I am still feeling miserable, both with the cold and mentally. I am trying to clean my room, get rid of some of the clutter - but after five minutes I lose the conviction that it will be good for me and I just stop. I don't really care right now. Nothing really matters right now. There isn't anything I can do except something that will get me out of the house and away from my brain. On to the comic book store!