Well, I've sold my house and moved from Baltimore to Washington, DC. I've moved from a five bedroom rowhouse with kids and dog and four cats and yard and trees and two cars (both art cars) to a studio with a dog and two cats.
My son John leaves for Frostburg State College soon and I am sad and happy. My son Brad is now living with my mom, and he is struggling with everything, I think, the move to her house, still not quite over the Army kicking him out, and school (although he is doing well in that area). He is a very troubled person with some basic deep issues that will take him years to overcome.
Anyway - I am feeling very down, very sad about these changes in my life. I am feeling afraid about living on my own - happy about it in one way, scared and sad about it in another way, feeling very lonely in a way. Still sorting through these feelings and wishing they didn't exist.
It's wierd, because I know they have to do some growing up and separation stuff, and so do I - and at the same time, I can't help but worry whether or not they will do what they need to do. I feel like crying. I feel lost without them in my house, getting on my nerves, making a mess. I miss my children, I miss living in my house with them. I feel sad. I was so blessed and so lucky to have such wonderful children in my life and now they and I have moved on to another phase. It feels very strange and odd. I feel alone and disconnected from them.