I had so much on my mind already, and now even more so after therapy on Monday, my head is spinning. My therapist, when I blurted out my new-found bisexuality to her, just reassured me that it was not a big deal, not to worry about it. Whether she thought this was a passing phase or not a big deal for any woman, I don't know - we had run out of time. And I don't really care. It explains so many things in my life that I have just made up excuses for. Now I don't need an excuse, because the truth will suffice.
I don't like the way it feels inside my head anymore. Some typical emotions that are there whenever I'm not distracted are: sadness, despair, loneliness beyond any loneliness I've ever felt before (after all, there's no one left but me, now, is there? Is there?), futility, and a feeling of being trapped in a pointless, meaningless life.
Do I want a girlfriend? No, I don't think so. Do I want to sleep with a girl? Yes, I definitely do.
In fact, I found out about a couple of bars in my home town that I am going to check out this weekend. Well, at least one bar. Or maybe I'll go tonight after belly dancing class. I'll probably be too timid to do anything but sit there and have a drink. But I'm going to go anyway.