December 13, 2000
10:23 PM: It's amazing how much one's state of mind
influences one's self.
Today I started out in the bad state that I had been in
previously. Did some boring errands, etc. Went out to
lunch with the 'rents and hated it.
Later this day, I got online and saw her online.. Rather
than waiting to see if she would message me out of fear
that she was annoyed by me and I would upset her, I sent
her a message.
Her: Hello smello
Me: Did you guys have school today?
Small amount of conversation. Enough to let her know I am
there. I dropped the conversation, and said nothing else,
just in case my fear was true. If she wanted to talk she
would message me. More from me could just be annoying.
5 or 10 minutes later:
Alright. Guess she does want to talk. What I've noticed
is that rather than asking me a question, she'll just try
to prompt me into taking action. We had a nice
conversation online and I started feeling better. As I
signed off I asked her if it'd be ok if I call her later
Fast foward: I call her. She is watching a TV programme.
Conversation is almost non-existant. Most of the time
spent is in silence, me wondering what to do. I wondered
why she'd do this.. Well, what I ended up doing was telling
her I'd call her back later. She mentioned she was just
about to let me go. In retrospect I probably should have
just honestly told her I don't enjoy talking to someone
who is preoccupied. No one likes someone who can be walked
Anyway, I called her back a few hours later, established
an outing for us this Saturday and exited cleanly..
Cool. ( :
Yes. I do know I overanalyze. When you have little
interests like me, it's about all you can do.