Stalag 69 is a coarse acting play written by Micheal Green, which takes the Mickey out of the serious war play stalag 13.
Stalag 69 is a play inside a play and the curtain goes up on a scene that looks fairly serious, the main character Squadron leader Crawford is standing one side of the stage and apart from the spot trained on him the stage is completely dark. Crawford launches into a soliloquy about how he has been captured carrying new radar technology and that the Germans have been grilling him to tell them about it. He goes on to say how he will be killed in ten minutes if he doesn’t talk.
Then Crawford says, “…my only contact with outside is this tiny barred window up here.” The stage lights come up and reveal the set that has been erected upside down by the careless stage crew so the window is near the floor and the door is six feet off the ground.
The play continues but in the end as the firing squad are unable to get through the door they have to throw a rifle through the door for Crawford to shoot himself.
At this point the director comes on and explains that a slight hitch connected with the scenery prevented full justice being done this literary work of exceptional merit and that the cast have agreed to start the play again. There is a general roar of disagreement backstage but the lights dim and the opening music begins just the same.
The lights come up on Crawford who is very worried and rushes through his lines missing large chunks of them out then he sees the set is the right way up and regains a little of his composure. He walks over to the window and shakes the bars but his hands get stuck between the bars and in his efforts to pull them out he wrenches the window out of the wall at this the entire hastily erected set collapses around him revealing the stage crew who dash in horror into the wings. The play continues with the stage crew occasionally running on to the stage to do sound effects.
The director comes on again apologises to the audience and begs them to wait while the play starts again.
Crawford comes on with the tiny barred window still on his hands the director tries to help him get them off but only succeeds in making Crawford howl in agony.
The play starts again but by this time most of the cast have left and so the lights come up on an empty stage. The director comes on apologises again asks to see any representatives of the press afterwards and bids everyone goodnight.