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- 67 reasons why Butterfinger McFlurries suck
- Adam Purcell
- Akond of Swat
- All drugs and words and ink
- Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
- Bizarre Scenes From Martha's Kitchen (idea)
- Blah blah blah Supermodels blah blah blah (thing)
- Books that will induce a mindfuck
- Boys vs. Bras, what's the difference?
- Broken Starlight
- Butterfinger McFlurry
- CIA World Factbook - Hell
- Constellation Records
- COWBOY JESUS VERSUS ROBO-CHENEY (thing)
- Darwin's deathbed conversion (thing)
- death grip
- Defending the honor of Johnny Cash
- Diary of a Cereal Killer (thing)
- Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
- E2 is unfriendly to New Order
- E2 Nutrition Facts
- Eat poop you cat
- Elephant 6 Recording Company
- Everything Arranged Marriage Registry
- Everything Bartender
- Everything, Kansas: A Manifesto
- For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.
- Full text works in Everything
- Give Me Powerpuff Girls Hentai or Give Me DEATH
- Gone in Sixty Seconds - Theatre Quest Entries
- Guide to being emo
- Happy Birthday From Planet Motherfucker (idea)
- His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
- Holy Bartender
- How Jenna Jameson Saved Christmas
- How not to beat Jet Li's kung-fu style in "Fist of Legend"
- How to avoid people whom you don't like talking to
- How to destroy the Earth (essay)
- How to win a knife fight (idea)
- How to write sex and violence - tastefully (thing)
- I am going to beat up Reel Big Fish
- I was the worst lay you ever had
- Improving your chances of winning at blackjack
- International Drinking Rules
- Interview with prole (idea)
- It must be hard for God to get a date
- It tastes like the Easter Bunny came in my mouth
- It's the End of the World as We Know It
- January 3, 2004 (thing)
- Jeff Mangum
- Jesus versus everyone
- Jesus was a Gay Black Hippie Jew
- Keep guns away from drunks
- Kentucky fried psycho
- liquor (idea)
- London's calling, and it's calling you gay
- McDonald's makes money by McRaping your pockets
- Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
- Monkey need pizza badly
- Probably the saddest thing ever
- Punk Rocker Jenn
- R.E.M. ordering breakfast at Denny's at 3 AM
- Rage Against The Machine's recommended reading list
- Rhinoceros Party of Canada (thing)
- Rules for drinking forties
- Save Me (idea)
- Seeing movies alone (idea)
- She's so cute
- Skier's Guide to Snow
- Standing in a parking lot at nine-thirty on a Saturday night, alone, wearing your best underwear
- Strongbadia
- Temporary Autonomous Zone
- The Art of the Mix Tape
- The beautiful way that two people fit together
- The Best Kind of Motorcycle is a Horse
- The Five Elements of Improv
- The Joy Luck Fight Club
- The life and adventures of Asian Orange
- The problem with messages on girls' t-shirts and a possible solution
- The Punk Meets the Godfather, Part One: Do My Converse look okay? And other preconceptions by a hippie kid
- The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick
- The sluttiest girl scout always sells the most cookies
- The television will not be revolutionized
- The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
- The Three Men I Admired Most: Manhattan, 9/11/01
- Things to do in Denver when you're not dead: A Mile-High Nodermeet
- Things to do, if you are hard-core (idea)
- this is the rest of the iceberg
- Three man
- Top 100 Works of Journalism In the United States In the 20th Century
- Top ten ways to fuck up your kids
- Wal-Mart greeter throwdown (thing)
- War on terror drinking game (idea)
- What would Brian Boitano do?
- What Would Jackie Chan Do?
- What's your sign?: Dating and the Semantic Web
- Who's Got The Crack
- Why do you persist on kissing me, whilst I obviously fake the deep breathing and the not so rapid eye movement?
- Why strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power
- Why women should carry the condoms OR the moist towelette theory
- You Got Served
- You know what? I've had it up to here with "Trix are for kids!" Give the rabbit a fucking bowl of cereal, you dick!
- You sleep with someone for a couple of years, you get to know them by feel