F. Kanda, E. Yagi, M. Fukuda, K. Nakajima, T. Ohta and O. Nakata of the Shisedo Research Center in Yokohama, for their pioneering research study "Elucidation of Chemical Compounds Responsible for Foot Malodour," especially for their conclusion that people who think they have foot odor do, and those who don't, don't. Published in British Journal of Dermatology, vol. 122, no. 6, June 1990, pp. 771-6.
Eclaireurs de France, the Protestant youth group whose name means
"those who show the way," fresh-scrubbed removers of grafitti, for
erasing the ancient paintings from the walls of the Meyrieres Cave
near the French village of Brunquiel.
The investors of Lloyds of London, heirs to 300 years of dull prudent management, for their bold attempt to insure disaster by refusing to pay for their company's losses.
Dr. Cecil Jacobson, relentlessly generous sperm donor, and
prolific patriarch of sperm banking, for devising a simple,
single-handed method of quality control. REFERENCE: "The
Babymaker : Fertility Fraud and the Fall of Dr. Cecil
Ivette Bassa, constructor of colorfulcolloids, for her role in the crowning achievement of twentieth century chemistry, the synthesis of bright blue Jell-O.
David Chorley and Doug Bower, lions of low-energy physics, for their circular contributions to field theory based on the geometrical destruction of English crops.
Daryl Gates, former Police Chief of the City of Los Angeles, for his uniquely compelling methods of bringing people together.
The utilizers of Spam, courageous consumers of canned comestibles, for 54 years of undiscriminating digestion.
Yuri Struchkov, unstoppable author from the Institute of
Organoelemental Compounds in Moscow, for the 948 scientific papers he published between the years 1981 and 1990, averaging more than one every 3.9 days.
Presented jointly to Jim Knowlton, modern Renaissance man, for his classic anatomy poster "Penises of the Animal Kingdom," and to the U.S. National Endowment for the Arts for encouraging Mr. Knowlton to extend his work in the form of a pop-up book.
Jacques Benveniste, prolific proseletizer and dedicated
correspondent of "Nature," for his persistent discovery that
water, H2O, is an intelligent liquid, and for demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is able to remember events long after all trace of those events has vanished.
Thomas Kyle, detector of atoms and original man of knowledge, for his discovery of the heaviest element in the universe, Administratium.
Alan Kligerman, deviser of digestive deliverance, vanquisher of vapor, and inventor of Beano, for his pioneering work with anti-gas liquids that prevent bloat, gassiness, discomfort and embarassment.
Josiah Carberry of Brown University, bold explorer and eclectic seeker of knowledge, for his pioneering work in the field of Psychoceramics, the study of cracked pots.
J. Danforth Quayle, consumer of time and occupier of space, for demonstrating, better than anyone else, the need for science education.
Paul DeFanti, wizard of structures and crusader for public safety, for his invention of the Buckybonnet, a geodesic fashion structure that pedestrians wear to protect their heads and preserve their composure.
Robert Klark Graham, selector of seeds and prophet of propagation, for his pioneering development of the Repository for Germinal Choice, a sperm bank that accepts donations only from Nobellians and Olympians.
Michael Milken, titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond, to whom the world is indebted.
Erich Von Daniken, visionary raconteur and author of "Chariots of the Gods," for explaining how human civilization was influenced by ancient astronauts from outer space.
Edward Teller, father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the Star Wars weapons system, for his lifelong efforts to change the meaning of peace as we know it.