*Breaks down Fourth Wall*

There, that's better.

Lets have a chat. I am going to tell you a story about Ona Zee, the adult film star, but it is going to be less about her and more about my research process. I found so little information on her that I am going to have to give you everything I could find, and some stuff that has very little to do with her.

Why Ona Zee?

Why indeed. Every once in a while, I will pull my next node topic from the pile of random nodeshells and proceed to teach myself about the subject. Larimar, Shelley Long, and Hyperacusis were all "nodeshell rescues", and I'm happy with the results. Wertperch and Everything's Most Wanted are also a good source of topics to write about. At any rate, one day in 2007 I picked Miss Zee's name out of the pile of nodeshells and set about looking for information. What followed was one of the most complicated, harrowing, frustrating nights of my life. Finding information about porn stars is a grueling process, unless you want the same stock biography, over and over again. Reading through an avalanche of message boards told me that:

  1. Porn boards do not, on average, contain any useful information and
  2. There is a subset of loyal fans who think that Mrs. Zee is a real classy broad.

The easiest thing for me to find was the one thing I didn't care to see: pictures of her va jay jay.

Can you post pictures of her va jay jay?


Okay, what is her stock biography?

When Ona Zee began acting in pornography, she was older than most women in the industry. She built up a following among certain viewers because she seemed to be a different type of lady, more poised and intelligent. She has made a lot of pornography, and might be working as an escort these days.

I mentioned the predicament of trying to find information on this woman to a friend of mine. He suggested I download a video of hers, and just talk about her talent. I had tried, but had not put in the time and effort required to gain access to straight porn sites that would have any of her movies, much less her first movie Ebony Humpers 2 (1986). He, however, had access to such a site, and downloaded one for me, which he watched himself.

What did he have to say?

"She did seem to have some special quality that set her apart from most porn actresses."

"Like what?"

"More mature, obviously, with more presence."

How old was she when she entered the business?

Ona Zee was born Ona Zimmerman on March 3rd, 1951. She would have been thirty-five when her first film came out. At the age when most women were bowing out of the industry, she was trying to break in. Previous to that, she had apparently been a model who had appeared in Cosmopolitan. When she was a small girl, she was a chronic masturbator. Her measurements are 38-26-36. I have no idea what all of this information means. Why did she enter pornography that late in life? Why stay in for so long?

What else did you find?

  • Pictures of her naked, having sex, clothed.
  • Youtube videos of her death scenes in two different legitimate movies. This led me to:
    • Laugh.
    • Ponder the way in which pornography is a way for men to conquer and kill the women they desire.
  • Portions of her autobiography that reveal
    • She was talented as a child
    • Her two divorces were very difficult for her
    • She is "fiercely bisexual"

Where is she now?

She is selling real estate. She has definately had work done. She has a facebook page for her stage personality, and most of her friends are creepy-looking dudes. She goes by a different name now.

I wonder if she's happy.

I do too.