"Twenty five years ago, an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive. It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a Ninja master unlike any other. How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery. We Ninjas thought that this child would be the great white Ninja of the legend. We were wrong. We were very wrong."
-Soon-Tek Oh as Sensei in Beverly Hills Ninja (1997)
One day, in a chest on a beach, a group of ninjas find a lone white baby that, unbeknownst to them, is the only survivor of a shipwreck. Believing that this child is destined to become the great white ninja of legend, they take him under their wing, and train him in the secret art of ninjitsu. However, things do no work out as planned, and Haru, as the sensei of the clan named him, is clumsy, uncoordinated, and all around awkward. Determined to one day claim his rightful place among his master ninja brother, Haru persists, and tries his hardest not to disappoint his adopted family. But one day a woman comes to Haru's family's dojo, mistakes Haru as an actual ninja, and enlists him to investigate one Martin Tanley. Now Haru must venture to the outside world, and test his ninja skills.
This is one of the greatest Chris Farley movies, ever. Holding its own with greats like Tommy Boy and Black Sheep, Beverly Hills Ninja offers up an hour and a half of cheap, yet palatable laughs. While this movie does have a pretty good plot, by the standards of the time, it has an SNL skit quality about it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Let's be honest, you don't watch movies like this for the story, when you see a name like Chris Farley, you sit down with no other intention than to laugh at his antics. This goes without saying, but this is a must see for any Chris Farley fan.
Haru: I have traveled many miles and now have come disguised as a pimp to help you.
Haru: Sensei, she is incapable of such things. She is as lovely as a dove.
Sensei: It sounds to me you are being lead around by your short sword.
Haru: The blackness of my belt is like the inside of a coffin on a moonless night.
Joey: That's pretty black, man.
Haru: It is a black art, and I, Haru, am the blackest of the black. Or rather the great white black art... blackest... master.
Chris Farley - Haru
Nicolette Sheridan - Allison Page (Nicollette Sheridan)
Robin Shou - Gobei
Nathaniel Parker - Martin Tanley
Soon-Tek Oh - Sensei
Keith Cooke - Nobu
Chris Rock - Joey
François Chau - Izumo
Will Sasso - Chet Walters