E2 Consumer Reports:
St. Ides Special Brew, "A Unique Malt Beverage With Natural Flavors."
After spilling the deliciously fruity smelling beverage on his shirt while twisting off the cap, we were even more enticed and impatient to partake, as the interests of our taste buds had been piqued.
He rushes the bottle to his mouth, I protest! We must clink in good cheer first, comrade. He pulls it away from his parted lips and locks arms with me, tips the tippy tip of his bottle against mine, and winks. He pulls me in closer with his free arm around my waist, and moves to drink. I follow. We look up into each other's eyes and instantly recognize and understand the returned look, the reflection we saw in each other's eyes was identical. It was one filled with utter....
.:|| ~ d i s g u s t ~ ||:.
"I never knew something this Horrible existed," he said.
"Specialll Breeeww of PISS, Ayllll say!" she remarked sarcastically.
They took another sip, searching for some trace of the promised "Kiwi Strawberry" flavour, but it was not to be found, instead replaced by the closest aftertaste of puke he's ever found commercially reproduced. Hers claims to be mixed fruit, but, with her face contorted, eyes bulged, and phlegm dissolving, she knew she had found the closest taste to mixing beer and robitussin, something she had thought of attempting to do in the future on a DXM pursuit. She now knew wiser not to try it.
They drank, and smoked, and talked, and perused nodes, and researched grammatical rules, and traded gossip like old girlfriends getting their nails done. They munched pretzels and wasabi peas, they sipped slowly, skipping as many taste buds as they possibly could. "St. Ides, St. Ides...how could you lead us astray with what should have been an alcoholic orgasm in our mouths?
This has been a public service announcement.
This round of scienmentific testing conducted by Deeahblita & Infinite Burn.
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