University billing, finance and financial aid offices exist to make the lives of student
s as close to hell on earth
Each office keeps seperate records of your financial transactions as well as sending you a copy of your own. Any
two versions of these records are never in agreement and any attempt to resolve the discrepancies will result in the proverbial "run around
The secretaries who work there are often vile and unaccommodating automaton
s whose propensity for disrespect is surpassed only by their ability to ignore your presence entirely during a face-to-face encounter. These offices and employees of the university are a nefarious
group to be avoided at all costs.
In the inevitable and unfortunate case you need to meet with these people in person, there are steps you can take to make the meeting as tolerable as possible. Prepare for the battle
by leaving any politeness and humanity at the door. Focus on your objective at all times - if necessary recite a mantra
. I recommend a line by Freddie Foxx
: "You f*ckin' wit my money is like f*ckin' wit my head - tryin' to take my buttered bread." Treating them with the same condescending audacity with which they conduct themselves will lead to a mutual respect between both parties. They will admire your daring and a more productive interaction will ensue.