Cigarettes as a Tool for Perpetuating Human Evolution in First World Countries.
OR
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Deathstick
People don't like cigarettes. At least most people don't. Even the vast majority of smokers will tell you that they want to quit, but can't. Or will later, when they have the time, or a vast plethora of other excuses.
Why are cigarettes bad? Well, that seems easy enough. They stink - first and foremost, they are expensive, and they aren't very good for you. Unless lung cancer is your idea of fun, of course.
That covered the "cigarettes" part. What about evolution? Thing is, survival of the fittest doesn't really apply to a big part of the human population. Success, maybe, but not survival. Social services and the relative abundance of food in first world countries took care of that. Couple that with the fact that families with a low social-economic status tend to have more children, and evolution is almost reversed.
So smoking can be used as tool. People paying hard-earned money for the chance to develop a painful and potentially fatal disease, not to mention lower their lung capacity and fitness? What better example of members of our species who are not worthy to pass on their genes?
The problem is that people are now smoking less and less, as they realize what cigarettes do to you. The solution? Teach smoking in schools! Instead of telling the children that they shouldn't smoke, tell them about all the horrible things smoking does to you, but tell them that it is "cool", and "hip". Get 'em while they're young, as it were. The sooner they start smoking, the sooner they die, and the lower the chance of them having children - thus removing their unfit chromosomes from the human genepool.
This brilliant thesis was developed over a few weeks of working part-time at a convinience store. I have never felt right about taking money from people to let them pollute their own lungs with nictoince and tar.
NOTE: I do not hate smokers. I don't like people who smoke in general, but there are many individuals I know and like who smoke. Like my Father, for example. As I've said, this is a semi-humourous excuse for me to sell deathsticks to people, some of whom clearly don't realize what they do to them.
Moved from its own node, because it doesn't deserve one.