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The Kim Li Diaries: Chapter Five (fiction)
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(
fiction
)
by
dannye
Fri Dec 01 2000 at 4:05:34
There are things you should know about Seedy Petey Wilson. He was one of the folks on this green planet who actually
was
abducted by
aliens
. Unfortunately, the aliens were his
siblings
. Freiborg Wilson, his
brother
, was an
escape
e from a German "
spa
" who had reportedly done things to various
fraulein
s which would make
Hanibal Lecter
hark a loogie. He sought
asylum
in America as a
third generation false memory syndrome chronic fatigue
Holocaust
victim
, and
Janet Reno
fell for it. His half-sister,
Loquita
, was an
illegal immigrant
who had been a passenger in a
Ryder truck
which had a bad turn with the law in
Oklahoma City
. That truck became famous about 30 minutes after she got out of it somewhere around Pocasset. Petey had been raised by his siblings since the age of 15, when his parents mysteriously
disappear
ed after telling Freiborg he couldn't use the
station wagon
one Sunday afternoon.
Needless to say, Petey has
issues
. Any time Deck had to deal with this slimeball, he had to make real
sure
that he went about it the exact right way.
"Petey, you ever known any
Hollywood
big shits?"
"I had an unpleasant encounter with
Meat Loaf
in a
steam
room one afternoon, but I'm trying to put some
aloe vera
on it and hope it heals."
"No, man, I mean the real
Big
Stars. What would you do if you got some juicy
dirt
on some of them?"
"You mean like
Chuck Barris
?"
"No, you dumb fuck. I'm talking about folks like
Babs
. Now listen to me and listen good. I know where there is some information that would make
Mecha-Streisand
vote
Republican
. You want to know more?"
Back
. . . / . . .
Forward
The Kim Li Diaries: Chapter Six
The Kim Li Diaries: Chapter Four
The Kim Li Diaries
Fraulein
The Kim Li Diaries: Chapter Eleven
Loquita
aloe vera
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