Voted off the island this week: Uberfetus.
Still left on the island: jessicapierce,
moJoe, and
dem bones.
Anonymous Pull Quote from remaining survivor:
"There ain't but one goddamned girl left here now, and I still hadn't been laid since these bastards put us on this godforsaken island. So I'm hornier than a 3-dicked goat, and this one girl we got left, I figure she's got to be mine, you know? I mean, hell and Jesus Christ, look at me!
"Look at me, goddamnit!
"I'm oozing with man-juice here and I can make a bulldagger lesbian cum like a racehorse, just by showin' her the top of the crack of my ass.
"Oh, what was it you asked me? Oh, yeah. So there's this one girl left, and who's she sucking up to? Who's she sneaking off with when the fire gets low? That yuppie scum-fuck from Philly, Uberfetus. He'd tell her all that stuff about Cornell and cry and get all weepie about some bitch that dumped him, and jessicapierce was fallin' faster than Bill Clinton's pants for all that bullshit. He'd even talk about the withdrawals he was havin' from not gettin' his medication, and how he was all depressed and almost suicidal.
"What she didn't know was that he was winkin' at me all the time, behind her back, like as much to say, 'Hey, moJoe, got any moves like this?... Amateur?'
"I snuck in there where he sleeps one night and slit his throat with a dull knife. But this cold-blooded fish didn't even fuckin' bleed! He just smiled up at me and said, 'You might ought to do something about that fierce sexual aggression that is displaying itself with a trend toward violent tendencies, moJoe.'
"Hell, I don't understand that kind of talk, and that just pisses me off more. And then he offered to share jessicapierce with me if I thought it would help.
"Share?!? With me?!?
"No, me and bones decided it was time for an island abortion, BABY!
("I wonder how bones is surviving without any pussy? How does he do that?")
Last Week. Next Week.