You ever find yourself in the shower snd think, "Man, it's been a long time since I was in here. I wonder how many days I've gone without showering?" Well, here's one good way to tell. Clean your ears out with Q-tips and see what color they are afterwards. If they are yellow or light orange, it's probably only been a couple of days.However; if you see a brownish or even reddish color, it might have been 3-4 days. If you get into shades of green it's been a week or more; what are you thinking?
When I was young, my mom always told me never to stick anything in my ear smaller than my elbow. I never really understood that concept. First of all,since I can't put my elbow in my ear, how could I compare other things to it? Second, I'm not planning on living in a world without Q-tips.
Then, as I grew up and learned about grown-up stuff, I began to wonder if this wasn't some secret message to not let a guy stick his dick in my ear. All that did was give me ideas.
So last year I go to visit my mom and I tell her, "Gee, Mom, I wish I'd understood the real meaning behind the elbow/ear deal. Because I was in California this summer and I let Magic Johnson fuck me in the ear. That's why I've got the hearing aids, in case you were wondering."
(Sorry; just trying out material for a possible new stand-up career move.)