What time of day this happens in your life (if you’ve made the decision to be a drunk – I could say drinker, but we might as well cut to the chase, eh) changes as you get older. The oft-heard phrase as a youngster is, "Beer. It’s not just for breakfast any more!" These are the halcyon days of youth when one can drink all day for several days and survive.

As one reaches adulthood, the phrase may well change to, "I don’t drink before noon." To which the obvious snappy retort is, "Well, it’s got to be noon somewhere!" Still and all, we’ve now reached an age where it is probably best to wait until the sun has crossed the midpoint of the sky prior to engaging. And we will probably only want to get crazy like this once a week or so.

Then one reaches the Senior Years for which the phrase Cocktail Hour was specifically designed. This means that you pick a specific time of day at which you can begin. You may choose to wait until after that time of day, but under no circumstances may you drink prior to then. After all, we are now at the stage of life about which Jimmy Buffett said, "When hangovers become terminal illnesses, you know you’re too old to do that shit any more." (Loosely quoted.)