"Uhhh... what now?"

Well... I was seriously hesitant to complete this writeup. It just isn't a particular "manly" sort of thing upon which to extrapolate. However, I'm secure enough (I guess...) and noting that it is not in the nodegel, and seeing as I'm now all-too familiar with it, as the day my fiancee and I get married creeps ever closer... well, I figured I'd take the potshots that come at my expense with a real shit-eating grin. Who knows, maybe it'll keep some of the rest of you from being so bewildered when you eventually hear it.

The odd phrase listed above is one of many traditions -- perhaps a superstitious one at that -- amongst brides-to-be. Specifically, it is a collection of trinkets that the bride in question wears, or otherwise has on her person, during the wedding. Hey now, don't shoot the messenger -- I didn't say it made much sense.

The Whole Sordid Affair

  • Something Old: Generally, this is something from a parent or grandparent, et cetera. Now we're not talking a big, unwieldy family heirloom, obviously. Generally, it's a bracelet, or a set of earrings -- but nonetheless something that is passed down or otherwise lent from someone of an older generation. It's supposed to be indicative of wisdom passed down, supposedly.
  • Something New: This is usually a token of something that is indicative of the marriage. Apparently the wedding dress or engagement ring is good enough for some, but it varies.
  • Something Borrowed: A symbol of trust or friendship. Generally this is something from a friend -- a handkerchief, or a necklace -- something personal. According to knifegirl, it is also supposed to bring luck, as well, especially if used by a previous bride.
  • Something Blue: This one makes no sense to me; I have heard that blue used to be a traditional wedding colour, but that's about as far as this one goes. Apparently there is often a bit of blue in the bride's garter.

You thought I was done, didn't you?

It seems that a final, less-often used line that some bridal circles add to this rhyme is, "...and a sixpence in your shoe." Most odd, if you ask me. However, don't ask her about the logic in this, she'll only throw things at you. Other variations might be "a silver sixpence" or "...and a penny"

Per Kit, knifegirl and Koutetsu, I now know that the sixpence represents the hopes for prosperity in the new marriage... proving once again, women only want one thing... (that's sarcasm, people)

So there you have it, yet another wedding tradition unraveled. It doesn't make much sense, but then again, not much at weddings do. Just smile and nod -- it's her day, after all... and knowing that will save you a lot of headaches in advance.

This knowledge gleaned from now having been involved, to varying degrees, in the care and feeding of two weddings in the past six months