"Do you
promise to attempt to dominate and subdue this woman until such time as you grow
bored?"
"Maybe."
"Close enough. And do you promise to applaud this man's production until such time as you find someone with a bigger... corporation?"
"Whatever."
"By the power vested in me by having scammed you guys out of a marriage license fee, I now pronounce you man and appendage. May you be unencumbered by small persons."