Our afternoon together in my bedroom seems an age away. Your smiles vanished my reticence. Your lips were rough until i kissed them into softness. Hesitation eroded, sensation was an opening bud in my chest. You stunned me. A new year burned into memory.

Friday, an agony of awkwardness. We're at dinner together, with company ignorant of our subtext. You, surprised when I grabbed your knee under the table. Hours later, the rotated equals in your brow. A punch in my gut when you call me, "baby".

What is this? Who are you? How can you do this to me, How can you break this frozen sea inside me?

I am terrified.

I want to run until my feet abrade blood into the road. I want to crush myself into insensibility. I want oblivion, I want nothing, I want you.

Apologies to Kafka for my inelegant theft