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I was shrooming when I met her. Shrooming really hard. With crazy thoughts racing through my mind, it was hard to focus on anything. I was in her head though - analyzing and understanding her every thought, every glance, every carefully chosen word. Pondering her intentions, sifting through the layers of verbal bullshit to understand who she wanted me to see. Her eyes grazed my face, pausing momentarily on my own. I knew what she was going to say before she said it: "Can I play with your eyelashes?"

Warm smile – long blond hair
Pretty green eyes and skin damned fair
For sure lucky to get with a girl like that
Couldn’t pass this chance no matter what...

She's drunk on a Monday night, and I'm trying to score.
"I don't give a fuck about this girl at all," I say to Worm on the drive over to her house, "I'm just looking for sex." He nods his agreement. It doesn't take long for an opportunity to present itself.

"Can you take a picture of my tits to send to Melanie?" I don't even try to contain myself. She lifts her shirt and I snap a shot.

"Mmm nice. Lick them for me." She obliges and I snap another picture. We make eye contact for a second. I drop my phone. "My turn." I dive in before she has a chance to stop me, licking and sucking on her perky little Hershey-kiss nipples like there's no tomorrow. Putting my arm around her waist I toss her onto her bed and climb on top.

Pretty woman though, not all she seemed
Soon grim reality, and not a dream
Wasn’t the first, certainly not her last
Moment of weakness, became victim of her past

The next few weeks are glorious. We gave new meaning to the term "Public Display of Affection". Blowing off school, work and other friends, I stay with her every night. She tells me her dreams, her hopes and her fears. She tells me why she drinks, why she smokes, why she gets nervous when she's alone. I meet her friends and they get angry at her. They think I've charmed her. They try to sit her down and talk things over while I'm outside having a smoke. She walks outside and sits in my lap, kissing me with a bit too much tongue, just to make a point.

We throw back shots and fuck without condoms. We lose track of her orgasms. Pounding liquor and hitting the bong between fuck-sessions, we enjoy each other wholly and publicly. Her body against the glass of the back door, the neighbors can't help but watch as they walk past. Their jaws drop and they can't help but stare. My roommate laughs and waves as he leaves for class. One hand resting on the small of her back, I use the other to wave back.

Had his night of empty pleasure with his bell,
if he could only escape from this hell
Turn back time but time gone too late
Nothing left to do but lean back, sit and wait.

She has the courage to tell me in person at least, when she finally does it. We are sitting outside smoking cigarettes and enjoying the Florida winter in shorts and t-shirts. She brings it up casually, as if it's not a big deal - as if I shouldn't mind, as if it was worth it. I hang onto every syllable as she spits it out, frantically trying to get a grip on reality. Her words echo through the dark, empty halls of my mind forever.

"I have HIV."

Nothing left to do - by Outlandish