In light of lalala's utility belt (idea) node, I was inspired to think long and hard (okay, not that long OR hard) about what I would include in my own utility belt. I agree with lalala, that the utility belt is a crucial part of effective superheroism.

I think the rule should be that you can only carry things that are realistically accessable to you. No special military weapons that go beyond grenades or guns. I mean Batman had all that cool shit because he was really really rich. Besides, Batman isn't real. And I am.

So... I think I'd carry...

1. Duct tape. Definitely duct tape. Detaining slippery nemises would be easier with duct tape than with handcuffs. You don't want the bad guy getting ahold of your cuffs in action and chaining you to their mass-destructive weapon they've concocted in their secret lab. So duct tape, because it's multi-purpose.

2. And a Swiss Army knife. The huge one with 50 tools in it.

3. An extra pair of tights. Because a run would be pretty embarrassing when you make the news for your heroism.

4. A tazer gun, because you're supposed to be a good guy, you can't kill people, just stun them.

5. Stink bombs, to clear a building in seconds. Although I'm not sure if I want my superheroness to be synonymous with bad fart smell.

6. Chewing gum. I can't tell you how often I've seen TV heroes save the day with chewing gum.

7. A debit card. You really shouldn't leave home without it. That would be stupid. But you can't put your real name on it of course. That would be careless. So I'd go to the California DMV, get a driver's license and a social security card in my superhero name, and THEN get a bank account. You have to cover your tracks, or you'll never make it in the superworld.

8. Deodorant. Hello, who are we kidding here? Do you want to be a stinky superhero? People will be reluctant to be saved by you.

9. Chapstick.

10. Snacks would be nice. It's hard to make it through the drive thru window of Taco Bell without being noticed when you're wearing a cape. And since I'm a flying superhero, I don't have a car, and I'm in a hurry. They never get my order right anyway.

11. A discman. For dry spells, when you're just flying around with nothing to do.

12. Flintstone vitamins. They're like candy, but they encourage your superhealthy goodness.

13. Pen and paper. You might need to write down your clues sometimes. You're not VELMA for cryin' out loud.

14. The SuperHero Dance Mix CD.

15. Bungee cords. Like duct tape, they can be used for many good things.

16. Double-sided tape. I'm a girl superhero. I need to keep my boobs from falling out of my superrevealing supersuit of course. And in time, I may invest in fake nipples, for the "trapped in a freezer" look. I read comic books, I know what I'm competing with! Although, two thimbles and some glue may work nicely, and until I get my endorsement deals, I need to conserve money.

17. Nail glue, to repair my awesome, but fake, nail claws after scuffles.

18. Anti-bacterial wipes. Have you SEEN the kind of places bad guys like to hang out?

19. A palm pilot. Because, DUH. This is a competitive field. Also, I'd need to check my email.

20. A boot knife. Those are so cool.

21. Apparently, a bigger utility belt.

And after much thought, I think I'd try to market myself in a new way. Like, The Ultrahero. Super's been done, ya know?

Whew. That took some heavy thought. But I'm happy with my belt. Although I'd definitely have to practice packing all that stuff in a convenient way.

The last thing an Ultrahero needs is to be caught fumbling with her utility belt. Or even worse, trying to detain a bad guy with double-sided boob tape! Or, at a crucial moment, when you should be zapping someone with a tazer, you accidentally whip out a pair of tights. I mean, how scary are tights?