When we were young, my brother and I were involved in epic battles. One of the highlighted moments was when i found him smoking dope in my room. Deeply angered, I picked him up and punched him in the mouth.

You must understand, this is how we said hello in the Lampe family. I didn't think it would faze him, but it turns out he was pissed. We were pretty much running wild at this point. He shot me in the back with a .22, and I broke his leg. He kidnapped my girlfriend, and I broke down the door to his room with an axe. You know, the normal stuff.

After punching his face, I came back after work and laid on my bed. Something stank pretty bad, and investigating, I found he had dumped a load in my pillow. Pretty good revenge I thought. Even better, I pissed on his bed, but found he had anticipated this move, and had put my only suit (we were pretty poor) just under his covers so I ended up urinating on the only suit I could afford to get, some grey polyester number from Fingerhut.

I was quite proud of him.