I have stopped by at this wonderful website to share with you some thoughts I was having today on a number of subjects. The first of these subjects I will bring to mind is stain causing foods and also the people who wear inappropriate clothing for eating of stain causing foods especially at a picnic or the like. If one is wearing white sailor style pants and eating a slice of blueberry pie on a picnic bench with rough housing going on all around you then you are asking for trouble to present itself. Often people will wear older blue jeans they are comfortable in and also wouldn't mind throwing away if unsightly stains were to place themselves on the garment. Also, there are many new types of cleaners I have not tried to use when cleaning stains I make myself on clothes that I either bought for myself or were given to me as holiday gifts. I do celebrate Christmas.
It is not difficult to consider when wearing white slacks or a fairly high priced light colored summer shirt that one might want to take the apple pie instead of the blueberry pie, regardless of personal preference. The apple will not stain as intensely as apple is not what we call one of the "trouble fruits" in the modern vernacular. Also, be sure to hold coffee cups with both hands as coffee stains can be difficult, especially on light colored fabrics and white slacks.
Also, it came to my attention the other day that there are some people in this country who live in a cardboard box or something even less appropriate for clean country living. At the same time I saw a man with a grimace on his face driving an Acura that is probably more expensive than a Toyota. I was not sure why he had a grimace on his face since he had an Acura, because the man I saw living in a cardboard box that once housed a Whirlpool brand refrigerator was smiling. I bought the man who lived in the cardboard box some Chicken McNuggets I purchased at a fast food store. I did taste one of them first to see if they were better now that my old friend Ronald McDonald is finally using all white meat in the McNuggets. They were a bit better than they had been when they made them with chicken necks and cartiledge, but still did not provide me with the taste explosion I had expected. I was not brokenhearted when I gave the remaining count of five McNuggets was given to the man who lives in the cardboard box. If you don't care for your dinner, give what is left to the man who lives in the cardboard box. Remember that his box gets soggy when it rains and you have windshield wipers in your Acura. From what I hear around the water cooler, if you have an Acura you can probably spare a buck or two.
A friend of mine is pregnant and she isn't married. I'm not sure what to make of it because she is a lesbian. A man must have become involved at some point in the recent history of her lesbianism. I am under the impression that two women cannot get each other pregnant by rubbing their private areas together. I have heard of this female ejaculation that is more popular than Baywatch now, but I do not believe this can cause a woman to get pregnant. I am thinking about asking my friend if this is not true. If it is true I imagine than men will become extinct and be replaced by a self-impregnating female population. This will also hurt my ability to date, as I usually take a lady out for a dinner of smoked mackerel and a good cognac. She may be less interested in me than she would be in one of these female ejaculators who will satisfy the entire female race once the men are duly eliminated. Such a group of women with ejaculating leaders would probably launch a mission to planets like Neptune and Pluto within a decade because of their fear of menopause.
I was trying to repair relations with my best friend Dale. Some time ago we had a falling out because I kissed his wife passionately and groped at her loins while he was getting a fresh bottle of red wine from the basement. She came onto me first, but she later told him that I forced myself on her. I did put my hand high on her thigh without invitation, but she was pushing her tongue into my mouth, something I know Dale is not into because he is very straight-laced as an individual. I was under the impression that once a woman puts her tongue in your mouth, you may start reaching high on the thigh, but not into the sensitive areas until she touches you in the same way first. These are the rules as I learned them from older kids when I was fifteen. They would also buy alcohol for us if we were willing to pay an inflated price, something like a tariff that may have been proposed by President Lyndon Baines Johnson. They always made fun of me because I would request a bottle of cognac. I would often take a brandy snifter to the ball yard and drink cognac from it while the other kids played baseball and the like. On the topic of baseball, let me say that I think Ted Williams is the greatest of all times and I am not upset that he is dead. If he remains frozen as he was at some point, he can be revived when we have a profitable old man baseball league. It would be quite a coup for the team that manages to sign Ted Williams, likely in 2088. That would be my guess for that particular event.
So, while I was trying to repair relations with my best friend Dale, a plumber came by to check something. Apparently Dale and his wife are having trouble with the pipes in their house, possibly from Dale's cheap approach to preventative maintenance. He always waits until the last minute, while yours truly, Berhardt Goates, is prepared ahead of time. I will often put a plumber or electrician through a twenty-one point process of being certain they have double checked all elements of their respective repair area. I cannot stand it when I have an electrician come by for preventative maintenance that he does not remove electrical sockets and re-pack the fittings. Electrical fittings must be re-packed every six months and re-primed every twelve months. It is just common sense.
Finally, Dale asked if he could punch me in the mouth, and I declined to agree with him. My face may not be pretty, but it is the part of me that ladies first take a fancy to, and I won't have it swollen or damaged during prime summer fox hunting season. I told him that in church we learned to forgive and to love, and so he hugged me and we went back to the living room. His wife had already changed into her nightgown and it was very revealing. I found myself visible aroused and tried to change the topic as she crossed and re-crossed her legs suggestively while eating vienna sausages. I continue to eat herring party snacks at a rapid rate in order to subdue my need for sexual congress with a lady. It was not completely effective, and so I got on my knees in front of Dale's wife and begged her to let me sleep with her. She declined to agree to do so and then Dale made me leave and he had an angry look on his face.
There is a film coming out that I am really hoping to go and see with another man. It is a film about what looks to be two baby leopards and a little boy who adopts them and takes care of him. He apparently has a hunter father or guardian who is also softened by the little leopard babies and stops hunting and becomes heroic in nature. This is definitely a film for two grown men to go see together.
The other trend I have noticed in the movie theatres is a complete lack of films by Joe Piscopo lately. I used to enjoy his films and now it seems no one is interested in showing them. I have been looking at things on the internet like this eBay site where maybe they have some of Joe Piscopo's shrugged off movies on the past decade or so. At this time, no hits, as people are reluctant to part with these films. They are great to watch when you are feeling nervous home alone.
Well, I can't share any more right now, as I am on medication and looking at a radioactive light such as the computer offers is not good for your eyes except in moderation or as required by your employment. Some people also work from home, which often requires intensive absorbsion of extremely dangerous rays. You should wear sunglasses and a heavy sunblock on the face, chest and shoulders, especially if you use the computer while not wearing a shirt of something open to the navel. I would not be surprised if this radioactivity caused breasts to enlarge, as many of the women who work with computers are very, very large chested. It may be the rays in case some of you were curious as to why this is the case.