Last night I watched the movie Das Boot seven times before I finally got up and tried to figure out what was going on. There were some good scenes but I was finding it hard to follow, even after seven viewings. So I went out into the caverns to look for the tattoo boys. They were nowhere to be found.

I came out in a romantic glen overlooking a beautiful vista. There wasn't anyone around at all, so I sat down and had a "krautwurst sandwich." It was refreshing with the orange soda I had with me and when that was done I looked around. There was no way of telling where I was. The whole area was absolutely riddled with beautiful glens and romantic vistas. It was hard to tell one from the other. The railroad people (God curse their souls) may have been right about those matters but I swear to God they were wrong about everything else.

Well, that was that and now I was out in the woods and it was getting weird out. There was thunder and lightning and I saw my old friend Chopper coming across the glen towards me. We ran towards each other in slow motion and embraced, eventually reaching for each other's swollen cocks and the comfort we felt in knowing we had each other's dicks. Trust. Means a lot.

Chopper is in contact with the dead old German solders with the glowing red eyes who have a flying horse guy. He says they will help us get to the house up that-a-ways (expression popularized in the hit series Little House on the Prairie). They want Chopper to take me to this castle where some kind of "madman" will help us reach oneness with the Fuhrer, who is friend to all and will bring order and freedom to the world and punish the weak and the lazy. Ecomonies will become robust. All resistance will end. You will lose one of your limbs but will be allowed to keep it in a very large jar. Fatties will be disqualified from the jar program but will not be exempt from the limb loss program.

Chopper and Behr must plan now. Spend time with your families. They will be reduced by 60% soon (in size if not in numbers).

My friends. Bless you.