You have to ask yourself whenever you are challenged by some dumbass who believes "medical science" is real why you bother putting up with these people in the first place. The reason is one related somehow to the concept of original sin, which I have discussed in various olifactory lectures on ethics in my capacity as a fully tenured professor of ethics at a for profit university in the above ground world of America. This is true and my name is Berhardt Goats (friends call me Behr - which you can do if you forsake all others and swear absolute allegiance to me).

Here in Hades on Team Joan there has been a change in our unit's lineup. Chris Farley has been dismissed because Ms. Crawford does not care for some of his more "carefree" antics and she runs a tight ship. We torture, kill, and make murder happy times around the clock and we plot to cause chaos in the above ground world. There is no time for antics of the kind Chris Farley was involved in during his time in our unit. He has been replaced by a friend and recommendation of teammate The Fuhrer whose name is Kurt. He doesn't say much and glares at me when I talk about how I have a boner at various times throughout the day even though I am in my 80s and not a spring chicken. Joan has put a gag order on me when it comes to discussing these matters. She considers me to be "revolting" but also that I am a "top notch weapon in our war against human joy."

We can end it in our lifetime if we continue to make the choices people are making in today's political climate. You are doing a good job. Team Joan is assigned to the destabilization of America project and we can use your help in achieving our goals.

Please send us an uncancellable check for $70,000 ($144,000 for families) to help destabilize America and win the war against human joy.

Thank you.

My friends.