I've been busy the last couple of days getting used to the policies and procedures here in Hades, a secret underground facility operated by the best possible people. Glad to be included!

Your friend Behr has been hanging with the Fuhrer, Joan Crawford, and Chris Farley. We are something of a team like Seal Team Six or something like that. Most of what we do is watch people around the world have sex and masturbate and then mock them together. We have a kind of 3D projection system where we basically get right into the bed with you, so as you coil those weathered fingers around your man meat, push your fingers into your wet places, or climb on top of your honey, there is a good chance that I am sitting there in the bed with you, just inches away, laughing along with Joan, Chris, and the Fuhrer.

Certainly something to think about. I hope that you will.

We have other secret operations in progress as well. We're looking to make some key judicial appointments in the United States this year to help us with some positive goals to improve human existence. We will see some of the chafed thighs removed from the wheat very, very soon my friends.

My friends... wish you could be here with me, but keep on choking the chicken for me, won't you?

So happy.