- from The Book of Yelps and Growls
Once upon a time there was a despot. Have you ever
seen a despot with a little nose? No, of course not.
Once upon a time there was a despot with a big nose.
Be proud of your big nose. This despot was walking
through the woods one day when he encountered a wolf.
"Good morning Despot!" said the wolf.
"Good morning Wolf!" said the despot.
"My but you have a fine nose!" said the wolf.
"As do you, as do you!" returned the despot.
Then each went his own way, thinking proud thoughts
about his nose. Soon though, it occurred to the
despot that he ought to kill the wolf, and at the same
moment the wolf was having similar thoughts regarding
the despot. Each turned and began to work his way
back to where they had met. The wolf however, was
able to smell the despot before the despot could smell
the wolf, and the beast leapt upon him and tore his
throat out. The wolf, so it proved, had the finer
nose. Therefore we may come to the conclusion that a
large nose may be noble on a beast, but it is nothing
but an abomination on a man, and if you have one I
suggest that you hide yourself in a rain barrel.