::cerulean draws a rattling, painful breath::

…it’s…a lie…:: cough::
after the wedding …WonkoDSane strangled Hermetic in a…in a…j jealous rage, so Infinite burn killed him and everyone else. Come closer…


I need you to do something for me.

::holds out a scarred, blood-spotted digital camera::

Cough… give that to Hard Copy, would you? Don’t ….don’t take less than a grand. …cough sputter…d’ya think you could pull this axe out of my head? I can’t find my legs. Where the FUCK is the Bactine?!

the ribs were worth it, though.

:: dies::

Damn, is it ever good to be out of that body. What a whiner. Why in my day, we didn’t even have legs.

In the spirit of allowing all ya'll who couldn't come to live vicariously, and those of us who witnessed the carnage to re-live it, I humbly offer these Impressions of a Noder at her first gathering.


First Thought Upon Arrival: Ohmygod, we're going to die. Jurph, please don't try to park the car on the 45 degree incline. Thank you. Why are so many of the rooms here not-bathrooms? I always the knew the internet was stored in some guy’s basement in North Carolina. By all means, if you can’t cook naked, cook in a velvet suit. If I fell off of the back porch, I bet I wouldn’t stop until I got to bottom of the mountain. I’m never gonna remember everybody’s name. Jason really ought to be a noder – he has good taste in music. Check, infinite Burn: do not node the alphabet. Why does everyone seem to think I can read Russian? Strange things are afoot in the living room. For four glorious minutes, the cabin contained the most concentrated group of people who knew all the words to Its the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) in all NC. Or at least we could all fake it. Bridges are for sissies. Bridges are also for painting. Spray paint fumes = not good for the thinking, but very good for the creepy atmosphere. Jethro Bodine just walked off into the woods after saying, “I’ll be right back,” without a hint of irony. He’s dead meat!! You go, Sunday Girl! Every dog has his day. And her seat. Does Teddy hate me? His name tag says he probably does. But he has good taste in shoes. It is a sad, sad thing, when people are either too tired or too drunk to Time Warp.


Ohmygod we’re all going to die. No, wait, somebody just dropped something loudly in the kitchen. Ah. Becca not only makes a mean cookie, she also makes some most aggressive pancakes, and her eggs are downright belligerent. I’ve never seen chicken-porn before. I hope I never see it again. All I can say is, that was the longest conversation of my life. Goodbye, mailbox. Karmaflux has good taste in comedy troupes. Beer and Krispy Kremes is a lot better than it sounds. Bridges are also good for taking aerial pictures of large numbers of tired, half drunk, but happy noders. EATPOOPYOUCAT! At last! I finally feel like one of the group, but of course, now it’s time to go. Verdict: Gatherings are a Good Thing. At least, if I have to leave, I get to leave in the Starship Enterprise.

Many thanks to Czeano, for hosting the hootenanny.

PS - If you don't understand the first part of this w/u, please go back and read Infinite Burn's (very entertaining) version of events. Thank you.