Yes, in honor of all the brave men and women who died for the great gathering that was the HOT DAMN! An E2 gathering in Ohio?!?!!, I claim the first writeup!

If you have pictures from the gathering online, please msg me with the url and I will add them here. If you need a place to put the pictures online, I'll be happy to provide that. Pictures rule.

Thursday, May 31st 2001

Calm day, I get a note from Zot that thefez and iDeath are here. I head over around 9 and we go for sushi at the japanese place across the street. Relatively quiet, we sit around and drink beer and chat. thefez is not at all what you would expect... We pick up jessicapierce at the airport around 11, plane arrives around 12. We have a lovely sign which proudly reads Lesbians! Monkeys! Soy! complete with a diagram of a 4 breasted lesbian soy eating monkey. jessicapierce is somewhat sick from the plane ride and does not react so well to the sign, however we had a great deal of fun watching the reaction of the other passengers in the hour we waited for her plane to arrive.

Friday, June 1st 2001

I get up around 8 to start smoking the pork shoulder. It produces large amounts of smoke wafting from my balcony which quickly attracts the attention of the apartment manager... Plan B, I pack everything up and set up at Zot's place. I leave it to cook and head back home to start on the cake in honor of sane_guy's birthday. Due to the large number of vegetarians that will be present, I pick up some veggie dogs and portabella caps. We head to the airport around 1 and pick up Gamaliel. More fun with the sign, we almost pick up some other guy who was laughing pretty hard at it, but he kept walking. We head back, and jessicapierce and I head out in search of some more hickory wood for the smoker and end up driving all over town. Back at the party, people begin to trickle in.

Friday night we have the early arrivals, I'm not even going to attempt to name who they were... We are hanging out, and around 11 or so we decide to head out to a club. We walk over to a place called Outlands. I've lived in Columbus all my life, and I had no idea this place existed. Total goth club, complete with public flogging, candle wax, and electrocution. We get some drinks and watch the whippings while others bust a move on the dance floor. Jurph turns out to be quite a wild man despite his calm demeanor.

As we are standing around, some guy up on the stage points at me and waves me over. It should be noted that at this point I am well decorated with name tags, including one on my crotch that says "Sex Toy" complete with a Buy 2, Get 1 Free sticker. He proceeds to hit on me, and grabs me by the back of my neck. After telling me that he's the straightest guy I'll ever meet, he licks my face and grabs my crotch. He then calls over some scary looking woman and tries to get me down on my knees to give me to her as a toy. She asks how much I've had to drink tonight, and I say not enough. That got rid of her... I finally squirm away from scary man and hang out in the middle of our group for protection, although they seem to be more interested in watching me squirm than protecting me... According to Xamot, some biker guys started calling me their little blond boy. What can I say, men love me. After a while, Jurph and Tandex get electrocuted for fun and profit! We head home around 3 and I make my way back to my apartment.

Saturday, June 2nd 2001

Saturday morning I get up and get the potato salad done and finish up icing the cake. Yeah, I frosted the hell out of that bitch. Head over to Zot's and all is relatively quiet. We take a group trip with about 20 people to Yankee Trader. This is the place to buy crap in Columbus, with a complete selection of things like rubber chickens, fake swords, funny hats, fake dog crap, and all those other stupid things. We buy a fair amount of crap and head back. Most of the afternoon, everyone hangs out at the nearby park. Around 5 we flare up the grill. The pork shoulder is reheated, I grill up a mean flank steak, some veggie dogs, some garden burgers, and portabella caps. We all chow down in harmony. Unfortunately I vastly underestimated the number of hungry meat eaters we had and it went pretty quick, sorry to those who did not get their fill. I must say, the break-in of my new smoker went extremely well, it was by far the best hunk of pork I have ever tasted. We have some cake and ice cream in honor of sane_guy's birthday, goes fast as well. Recipes for the food I made will be forthcoming...

More arrivals and the party is in full swing. We head over to the Grayhound terminal to pick up Neil. As soon as we walk in, two british girls run up to us and ask if we are looking for Neil. They point him out to us. Very odd, he apparently met them on the bus and they just thought we looked like people who were here to pick up Neil... Tandex's wife is a caterer and hooks us up with some finger sandwiches and junk food. Jurph and I set up on the back porch for some music. Oh man did we suck. Unfortunately, Jurph has a rare musical imparement that prevents him from being able to remember anything beyond the first verse of any given song. But we did kick some ass on some of those first verses, and even managed to pull of a few decent verses of American Pie. As the party is hopping up, I head over with WonkoDSane and Void_Ptr to pick up her leather booty. As she is changing, I can't resist, I call down to the front desk and order a 6 AM wakeup call. EVIL! It played out well, and all staying in the room were a good sport about it.

Back at the party, jaubertmoniker has shown up after saying he wouldn't make it, but then he's leaving as soon as I got there. He drove about an hour to stay for 30 minutes, silly noders! Everything is going well, except some goobers put on Rocky Horror and have at it. Sheesh... Kurt the Pope is very very drunk. I've gotten about 3 words out of him all weekend, and now he's ranting and raving about assessing property. He gives me Hawaii. I run around the block with him to try and sober him up, but all he does is comment on this new and exciting property to assess. GoneJackel and Karmaflux get into a wrestling match with pudding. It was not pretty. Oh so very not pretty. Around 4 am, myself, jessicapierce, Phillys Stein, and zot-fot-piq crash on an inflatable mattress upstairs. Zot sleeps through the rest of our slap hapiness... Everyone else falls asleep around 7 am, I manage to somehow avoid sleep alltogether...

Sunday, June 3rd 2001

Around 10 we scramble up and get showered. We make plans for lunch at the Starliner Diner for 2 pm. We head out, half the party get's lost. We all eventually get situated. The folks at the starliner, in addition to cooking up some mean cuban/eclectic foods, went way out of their way to accomidate our group of about 30. The food and service were great, we leave a 35% tip on a bill of $285. We love the starliner diner. Through the afternoon, goodbyes are said and we all laugh and cry at the recent memories of our new friends.

In the evening, we head out to eat at Mac's cafe around 10 pm. The hardcore group remaining consists of myself, zot-fot-piq, sane_guy, jessicapierce, stand/alone/bitch, thefez, brassmule, Morgon77, and Pyrogenic. brassmule had about 9 shots of tequilla and 2 long island iced teas. He looks all of 16 when he smiles, how he got served I don't know. Watching him smashed is a hilarious experience. We head back later and all crash on the sofa. Around 3, everyone has basically crashed except myself, jessicapierce, and Pyrogenic. JP's plane is leaving at 7:25 so we figure there's no point in trying to get any sleep now, so what the hell. We take a walk in the park and get accosted by scary homeless people with mean dogs. Head back to the crib. JP and I get in depth on the metaphysical concepts of thinking outside the box, it's deep, trust me. JP and I brave out the night without succombing to the deep pull of sleep. Everyone get's up around 6 am and we all head to the airport to see JP off. We head back to Zot's and I bail to go to work. Wearing the same clothes I wore on sunday and looking like hell beat to death with a radish stem.


First off, thanks to zot-fot-piq for providing us with a place to party and sleeping room for many noders. No matter what he said, he put the effort into this thing and we all owe him a big thanks. (Note: after careful consideration, we have decided to compromise and say that we all pulled this off together. Except for sane_guy, he's just a crack whore.) Thanks to tandex and his wife for providing us with party foods, and for being all around cool people. Big thanks to briiiiian for the compliments on the smoked pork shoulder, I've yet to have someone so eloquently compliment my food. And thanks to WonkoDSane for bringing me some Shiner Bock from the heart of the south.

The final noder count we came up with was 45, but we might have missed a few... Hopefully everyone had a good time and ended up well fed and liquored. Special thanks to Clampe for providing the hosts with quality Blockstockers shirts, and to dem_bones for allowing us to rub his bald head, we are truly not worthy.

Thanks to everyone who made it out and braved the cold and rain. I had a great time, and we hope everyone else did as well.

Random thoughts: thefez is a wet kisser. jessicapierce has a heart of pure black evil, and it tastes like chicken. I never met a pig that wasn't good food. If anyone ever again comes into a room and turns on the lights to show me a picture of a crab penis, I will kill them. Ghihuahua Grub is the coolest person I have ever met in my life. Becca makes a mean cookie. Jurph should not be allowed to play with fireworks. iDeath? Yeah, we got that. Dizzy and Katyana are so damn cool it makes my legs weak. noders are cool as hell. If I can just get Mike to the 24-hour Whipper-Snapper, I will be okay.